Ah, Thanksgiving. There’s the food prep, the house prep, the deeply cray family dynamics. Then add to the mix YOUR KIDS and it’s… an experience. The funny parents of Twitter are on it.
My youngest is 5 & I still have maternity pants saved for special occasions*
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 16, 2016
I just paid my son $25 to go do my Thanksgiving grocery shopping & honestly, that’s the best $25 I’ve ever spent.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 25, 2019
Shoutout to everyone forcing their families to live on PB&Js all week because ALL THE FOOD IS FOR THANKSGIVING DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) November 21, 2018
Deep cleaning before kids: scrub baseboards, vacuum and dust behind furniture, dust ceiling fans, scrub the floor on your hands and knees
Deep cleaning after kids: shove toys in closets, toy boxes and under furniture then wipe down surfaces with Clorox wipes 🤷🏻♀️
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 23, 2019
You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 26, 2015
Make a "thankful tree" so you can burst a blood vessel waiting for your child to come up with something to write on a paper leaf.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) November 16, 2016
I love Thanksgiving. Can't wait to slave for hours over a meal my kids will rudely reject in front of relatives who are judging my parenting
— ally (@TragicAllyHere) November 16, 2016
Let's get married & have kids so instead of enjoying Thanksgiving dinner you can make sure no food touches on her plate while I microwave him a hotdog.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 22, 2019
serious thanksgiving question: when a family member's telling a tragic story and everyone's crying, how long should i wait before taking a bite of my pie?
— Beth (@bourgeoisalien) November 22, 2017
My desire for eating out for our Thanksgiving meal or at least using paper plates and paper cups intensifies with each passing year.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) November 26, 2019
dad: You're sitting at the kids table this Thanksgiving
dad: What's a carburetor?
dad: Who's SpongeBob's best friend?
me: Patri- oh
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 8, 2018
I wonder how long I’ll be at Thanksgiving dinner before my mom asks me to fix her computer.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) November 25, 2019
My favorite thanksgiving tradition is going to the grocery store and avoiding eye contact with someone I went to elementary school with
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) November 24, 2019
What is the age cap on leaving Thanksgiving early and blaming it on your kids needing a nap?
Asking for me.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) November 24, 2019
Me, before kids: This is dumb, we should get the whole week off.
Me, with kids in school: Do they really need the day after Thanksgiving off, too?
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) November 21, 2017
my favorite day is the day after thanksgiving, when I twitter search the words "hot cousin" and see all the people who have crushes on their cousins
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 15, 2019
Actual footage of me at the end of the day. pic.twitter.com/7rmMj1nWMa
— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) November 26, 2019