Remember back in the day when you used to look forward to meal times? That was fun. If you’re one of the many moms for whom getting food into your kids’ mouth holes is….um… an “adventure,” you might relate to these tweets from parents knee-deep in the food trenches:
There is no win. There is only try.
Dinner is a great time for my family to come together to tell each other exactly what is wrong with the meal I made.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 20, 2018
It helps to be realistic.
Instead of buying fresh fruit and vegetables, I took $40, ripped it into tiny pieces, and sprinkled them around the grocery store parking lot.
— Stacey (@skittle624) January 6, 2019
‘Too spicy’ is every child’s secret weapon.
“Chopped” with all-kid panel of judges:
KID 1: [starts crying] ALL THE FOODS ARE TOUCHING
KID 2: [dumps food on floor] i wanted it on the blue plate
KID 3: [whispers] too spicy *spits it out*
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 15, 2019
Be sure to track where the food ends up.
2yo referred to her coat pockets as "snack holes" and this is what I shall forever call them
— Rebecca Caprara (@RebeccaCaprara) February 23, 2018
Be prepared for things to get Oscar-level-dramatic.
My six year old just informed me that SALAD IS RUINING HIS LIFE!
He's officially a 40 yr old housewife.
— Tracie Tom (@tracietom) September 27, 2018
It’s a thin line between success and failure.
3-year-old: *finds mustard on her sandwich*
Me: What's wrong?
3: My sandwich is broken.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 19, 2018
Every parent has a threshold; you do what you gotta do.
My picky-eater child just told me the guinea pig food smelled delicious and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t consider serving it for dinner.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 10, 2019
No need to overthink the menu.
9yo: What can I have for lunch?
Me: What do you want?
9yo: What are my options?
Me: You literally eat 5 things.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 6, 2019
Negotiation always requires making some compromises.
3-year-old: I want more milk.
Me: What's the magic word?
3: *enraged falcon screech*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 3, 2018
What they don’t know can’t hurt them.
Me pre-children: I will never lie to my kids. I will respect them enough to always be honest.
Me now: I did use yellow cheese to make your quesadilla. The cheese turned white when it melted.
— InsoMOMniac (@insoMOMniac) December 29, 2018
Not all kids are Harry Potter.
My son just yelled, “COME TO ME, COOKIES!”
And then sat on the couch with his mouth open for a good while.
I guess it was worth a try.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 7, 2018
Understand that to children, time is fluid.
Prepare your kid’s favorite food.
No, I’m sorry. That is no longer your kid’s favorite food.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) July 18, 2018
It’s healthy for kids to express their independence through their eating.
4-year-old: Just once can you let me eat cookies for breakfast?
4-year-old: You never let me follow my dreams. *storms off*
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 1, 2018
Sometimes, you have to take the high road.
Just once, I would love to look my kid in the eyes when he gives me a picture he spent a long time coloring, and have the nerve to say, “could you make me another one…that’s not what I wanted,” just so he can get a sense of what it feels like to make him dinner every night.
— Danielle and Farrah (@effinghandbook) August 12, 2018