No One Told Me About the Hemorrhoids WEEK 9

Approved by the What’s Up Moms Medical Advisory Board

Baby is Now about the size of a grape, or, if you can only understand things in terms of candy, think: the size of a Rolo. Intestines are beginning to form, and your little one now has buds where teeth will later emerge.

Good news: your morning sickness may be easing up. Perhaps you’re not feeling significant relief yet, but you should be on the gradual upswing in coming weeks. Pro-tip: keep a mint teabag with you and whenever you feel queasy, breathe into it – like, say, upon entering the office kitchen and getting a whiff of your co-worker’s frozen Parmesan Crusted Halibut heating up in the microwave. BTW, if your prenatal vitamins are making you sick, tell your doc; s/he might be able to prescribe you some that are easier on the gut. (Prenatal gummies FTW!)

Pregnancy is a funny (not always ha-ha-funny) little ol’ trickstress in the way it can come with so many seemingly random and grody symptoms — some of which you may be experiencing without even realizing they’re pregnancy-related, especially if your friends aren’t talking about the down-n-dirty details of their own grosser bodily happenings. But we will!

You’ve probably already noticed skin changes on your body (hi, alarmingly dark nipples), but you may also see some on your face, like acne, thanks to extra androgens, or brown patches called melasma, which can crop up thank to extra melanin. (Like most pregnancy symptoms, these are almost always temporary so don’t freak.) Itchiness, especially on the belly and boobs, can happen thanks to shifting hormones and the stretching of the skin. And while not everyone is lucky enough to experience hemorrhoids, they’re pretty common in pregnancy — early on thanks to constipation, and later, because the uterus places pressure on pelvic veins.

Later in pregnancy, a whole new slew of other cray will pop up but we won’t even burden you with that nonsense now because you’re busy growing a person! And swinging around some, thick, lustrous hair like a Pantene model! Enjoy this perk; you’re not actually growing more hair, but pregnancy hormones cause hair to fall out more slowly than usual. And also who really cares the reason because you are looking like a resplendent pony! Neigh on, sister.