Halloween. ‘Tis the season for parents to purchase/make/magically produce intricate costumes, stock the house with candy (usually a couple times, ahem), come up with clever class treats, and, then, on the special day itself, wrangle kids through a late night fueled by vats of candy — AKA a perfect storm. All parents know that Halloween with kids is a special kind of (joy and) madness.
The messaging is kind of wonky.
Parents 364 days a year: Don't take candy from strangers.
Parents on Halloween: Take candy from strangers. In the dark. And share with me.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) October 19, 2016
The fruits of your labor aren’t always lovingly received.
I decorated for fall & the kids had it torn apart in 18 hrs. I'm going to decorate for Halloween by slowly burying myself in the front yard.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) October 3, 2017
But at least the family comes together around this holiday.
“So lucky our kids have siblings so they’ll always be there for each other,” I mutter as I break up another physical fight between my daughters because they both want to be Hermione Granger for Halloween.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 7, 2021
Your child will have his or her own ideas.
8yo: I want to paint my pumpkin this year!
Me: Cool, what color?
8yo: Orange!
Me:
8yo:
Me: *pours drink* Let's do it— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 29, 2017
Don’t worry about “logic.”
It's cute how we pretend we get "free" candy for Halloween, as if we didn't spend a ton of money on costumes and candy to give to strangers.
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) October 19, 2016
Nice to know there’s a way around the Halloween Industrial Complex.
Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 3 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 10, 2021
For some, the holiday can bring up deep-seated anxieties.
We're 4 weeks out from Halloween and I'm at peak anxiety that this will be the year my kids figure out how delicious peanut butter cups are.
— Emme Reynolds (@TheEmmeReynolds) October 5, 2016
Everyone’s triggers are different.
Me: Hey kids, can you please stop putting your empty candy wrappers back in your Halloween bag, it confuses daddy
7yos: What?
Me: Nothing
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 11, 2016
Halloween does have many upsides…
Halloween is the best because it’s the one day my kids go around demanding snacks from everyone else.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 31, 2018
… like the chance for meaningful conversations with your children.
5-year-old: Can I wear my Halloween costume?
Me: No.
5: Why not?
Me: It's not Halloween.
5: That's what you said yesterday.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2019
Parents, be sure not to leave all the fun to the kids!
https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/788747778428170242?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E788747778428170242&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.someecards.com%2Fparenting%2Fparenting%2F26-tweets-that-prove-halloween-is-a-fcking-nightmare-for-parents%2F
There are simple costumes that barely take any work at all.
Funny how everyone at my son's school is commenting on my zombie costume when this is just what I look like now.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 19, 2016
Other costumes are completely transformative.
This Halloween, I'm going as a Sexy Parent, which is just a parent who took a shower, got dressed, and is nowhere near any children.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 17, 2017
With every year, there’s the chance to build more Halloween memories…
[frantically trying to free up storage space on my phone as my kid marches by in the school Halloween parade]
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 31, 2016
… and, happily, those memories will last a lifetime.
As my son picked through his Halloween candy, he asked, "When can we go get a Christmas tree?"
Have kids. It's fun.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 1, 2016
